Conflicts can happen from time to time. It is even harder when the conflict is with a coworker who you are bound to see, forced to interact, and compelled to work with. Before this can escalate into a much bigger problem that will only drain you, it is time for you to take action and manage this situation.
You don’t want to have bad blood with anyone you are working closely with because this can cause other sets of issues that will only take more time to resolve.
Here are 8 strategies you can use when you and your coworker are involved in a drama in the company:
1. Talk Privately
Start by scheduling a private meeting with your coworker to discuss the issue. Avoid talking about the conflict in public or in front of other coworkers to prevent escalating the situation.
When your other coworkers know about the situation, there is a tendency that they will gossip about the both of you or choose sides. There can even be instances where they will try to sabotage you both. So, try to be as private as possible because there is no need to stir attention.
2. Always Be On The Same Level, Literally
When addressing conflicts with a coworker, ensure that both of you are either seated or standing to create a sense of equality and prevent any assumptions of dominance or intimidation.
This approach helps to avoid power dynamics that can arise when one person is standing over the other, which might inadvertently create feelings of superiority or defensiveness.
3. Be Open and Honest During Your Talk
During the talk, express your feelings using specific examples to illustrate your points. Avoid blaming or accusing your coworker; instead, focus on how the behavior or situation affects your work.
Moreover, allow them to narrate their side of the story and be prepared to listen without interrupting them. Acknowledge their feelings and show empathy, even if you don’t agree with their perspective. You can also ask open-ended questions to encourage a deeper conversation.
4. Try To Be An Active Listener
Practice active listening by giving your full attention to your coworker when they are speaking so they cannot label you as rude or avoidant. Also avoid distractions, such as checking your phone or looking away when they are speaking so they can narrate their side without wondering if you are listening or not. Use non-verbal cues like nodding to show you are engaged.
When they say something you don’t get, paraphrase what they have said to confirm your understanding. If your repetition was incorrect, it will prompt them to restate their statement.
Avoid planning your response while they are talking and instead focus on comprehending their message first. Try to think first before you say something because you don’t want your words to be used against you. Do not also finish their sentences because it will come out as passive-aggressive.
5. Stay Calm and Composed
When emotions run high, take a moment to breathe deeply and regain your composure before responding. This can allow you to think more clearly and respond more effectively. If the conversation becomes too heated, suggest taking a short break to cool down and gather your thoughts before continuing. Do not talk when you are too angry to do so as this can cloud your thoughts and you might end up being the unreasonable one.
Moreover, maintain a neutral tone of voice and avoid raising your voice, as this can escalate the conflict and make resolution more difficult. Focus on the issue at hand rather than bringing up past grievances or unrelated issues, keeping the conversation relevant and productive.
6. Seek to Understand, Not Win
Try to see the situation from their point of view, even if it’s challenging, as this can help you to find common ground and solutions that work for both parties. Avoid getting defensive or taking their comments personally, focusing instead on the issue at hand. Reflect on how their perspective might influence their behavior and consider how you can address their concerns constructively.
7. Focus On The Problem, Not The Person
Clearly separate the person from the problem in your discussions, ensuring that your focus remains on resolving the issue rather than attacking your coworker. Use neutral language to describe the issue without attacking your coworker’s character, keeping the conversation respectful and professional.
Focus on specific behaviors or situations rather than generalizing about their personality, providing concrete examples to illustrate your points. Avoid using accusatory language like “you always” or “you never,” which can escalate the conflict and make your coworker defensive.
8. Use “I” Statements
When expressing your feelings, use “I” statements to take ownership of your emotions and avoid sounding accusatory, which can help to de-escalate the conflict.
For example, say “I feel frustrated when deadlines are missed” instead of “You always miss deadlines,” which can sound blaming and defensive.
This approach helps to convey your feelings without placing blame on your coworker, making it easier for them to understand your perspective without feeling attacked.
It can be challenging to deal with but it can leave you drained when unresolved. Not only that but by taking initiative to solve the issue, you give yourself the peace of mind you deserve. Leaving your conflict with a coworker unsolved can only push one of you to resign. Remember, the goal is to resolve the issue in a way that maintains respect and professionalism for everyone involved. In the end, you want to work with a healthy and productive environment.
